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Wednesday, February 22, 2012

I wonder how the rest of my life looks...

      Rob and I are approaching a milestone in our life...30 years of marriage. We have been blessed with 3 children and 2 grandchildren. As I reflect back my husband and I have practically raised each other. I fell in love with him 35 years ago and was fortunate enough to marry him 5 years later. Reaching this milestone has made me reflect on how to enjoy our new season in what is left of our life. Reflecting on those dreams you put on hold until you reach the latter part of your life....
      Let me explain - LEFT of our LIFE: Life revolved around kids and their pursuits..then we have new in laws thus our beautiful grandchildren and born is a new season in life. However, where do the kids, grand kids fit in this new season. Since we raised our kids to be independant and self supportive individuals looking at the world as an oyster setting them out to find their pearl. Rob and I find ourselves alone and watching them live their lives while trying to figure out what we should be doing with ours and how we may fit in theirs.
     Left of Life may seem a bit on the depressive but actually is a positive quote as this means their is still time to have a new adventure.
     I would welcome suggestions from other parents who find themselves feeling as if they have one foot on shore and the other in the ocean. I have the feeling i want to set sail on a new adventure and the other on shore running to where ever my kids have found themselves living this year! One look from a grandchild and I am wanting to be near them forgetting all about my own plans. Then life happens and we are dismissed and sent home to wonder what should we be doing. Then, life happens and we are back from our journey and traveling along with the kids on their journey while our dreams stay at the dock...
I hope this made sense...reminds me of the "Ever get the feeling that you wanna stay then get the feeling that you wanna go" I think this was coined by Jimmy Durant.
      The love we have for our FAMILY is great, the desire to be near them overwhelming, being in the loop of what is going on their lives a need, the desire to run their life a tiny struggle but avoidable, wanting to give advice then deciding to keep quiet a choice.  As parents we all know what we want for our kids may not be what they want (dag gone free will) and what we get is all negotiable and not always fair but at the end of the day all is forgiven and plans are redesigned and sometimes forgotten. So, as a parent I wait untill I am needed again where did the rest of my life go?
      The best I have saved for last. As a christian my desire to be a good faithful servant is a constant desire and pursuit which in a nutshell means all of this is pointless since I or we should be pursing Gods desire for our life and Iam not sure my plans are God plans...that I will save for another blog.
Thank you dear friends and i look forward to your thoughts and words of wisdom on the subject of ...I wonder what the rest of my life looks like.
Tammy Collins